how to unf*ck your attention span
slowly regain control over your time & happiness
I think for many people, it started during covid. With nothing to do all day and TikTok available, we all got sucked into the void of scrolling and scrolling. I’ve always been fascinated by social media and couldn't really stay away, but during the pandemic, it got really bad. To this day I struggle with living a present life, always tempted to doom scroll and waste away weekends lying in bed, consuming countless hours of content.
Because of Uni I was forced to find ways to concentrate and to withhold the urge to scroll: My grades were suffering and my memory got really bad. I was anxious all the time, caught in a limbo between social media and the real world. I started to develop some strategies that helped me get a grip on my (dare I say it?) phone addiction.
Yes, this all would be so much easier if we just abstained from social media altogether. But that is not an option for me, so instead I first shifted my consumption to short form content to longer form content. At times, I struggled to focus on a 5 minute YouTube video, unable to watch the video without scrolling through the comments and being on my phone at the same time. I knew then that I had to change something. And my first action was to start consuming longer content: Take it one YouTube Video at a time. Watch a longer essay video without scrolling through the comments or looking for another video to click on. Maybe take notes, and definitely put your phone away. Consciously consume content instead of stuffing your brain with input. For me, this as the first step to taking control over my attention span again. I have no intention from banning social media and YouTube from my life, so I am learning how to have a healthy relationship with it. They didn't teach us this in school, and I assume that most parents were unsuccessful in the attempt of limiting their kids screen time. I know for a fact that mine were, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this article.
I want you to remember the policies your parents or guardians had when it came to the Internet, because this probably influenced your “internet behaviour” tremendously. Mine were pretty strict around it, which meant that I got really good at sneaking around and using my phone in secret (sorry to my parents if you’re reading this haha). I was longing for the day where I wouldn't get called out on being on my phone all the time, where I could binge watch my favorite tv shows in peace. I put being online on a pedestal, while simultaneously feeling shame every time I scrolled too much. So when I moved out and had all the time in the world to consume all the content, guess what? That is what I did. I was never taught how to self limit my phone time, my incentive would always be as much phone time (preferably Snapchat, then later it was TikTok) as possible. Just because I am now finally allowed to be on my phone and computer 24/7 doesn't mean that I have to do just that. Altough I am not a teenager anymore, wasting away the day with content consumption feels like an act of rebellion, with battles being won at the expense of my attention span and happiness.
The next step after realising this were some ground rules that I made for myself: No social media in the morning is one example that is really important to me. I used to wake up, scroll on TikTok for an hour or so and then get out of bed feeling really really bad. I have replaced this ritual of scrolling with just sitting in my bed and existing, trying to be present in the moment. If I have a little more time, I might read a blog entry or a book, or put down some morning thoughts in my journal. If I have exams coming up, I even extend that no phone time into the afternoon, in order to focus completely on my studies. That leads me to my next point:
I have problems with moderation. That is why sometimes it is easier for me to not use my phone at all instead of having ten minutes of scrolling time a day. So, what do you do if you don’t have any self control? If you are serious about getting out of your scrolling rut, you might want to invest into some website blockers. Here is a great resource to start. I use the app ScreenZen on my phone. It has you pause a for a few seconds before letting you open a social media app, enough time for you to think twice about why you want to open that app. I find myself reaching for my phone in so many moments to distract me from everything else that is going on around me: In the gym, waiting for the train, in the bathroom… You name it. ScreenZen helped me to cut these phone checks to a minimum.
Our phones are so damn convenient and make so many things a lot easier, if you set some ground rules with yourself and actually stick with them. Self parenting your phone habits requires a lot of patience and self compassion, it has taken me years to get to the point where I am now: A little more present and happier. But in the end, I’m just trying to figure out how to navigate an existence here, so what do I know???
Love, Arielle
what to expect in this publication:
Welcome to arielle’s journals, my digital diary about being a multi passionate human :) Topics I will write about:
biweekly favorites/update posts
personal stories
essays about creativity, culture and self care
Interviews with artists and other creatives
Read you soon!
Loved your post, thanks. Phones are like black holes, once you cross the event horizon, you will be sucked in for good. When you manage to get out, 7 years have already passed.
I love the idea of watching longer form content - I have noticed that in terms of video content, YouTube is my happy place. And I hear you on the attention span…short form video content combined with my job where as a project manager, all I do is emails and phone calls, I struggle to pay attention to one thing for more than a few minutes.