creativity chronicles #1: Why it's okay to hate your art
Introducing the gap - or why it's okay if you want to toss all your projects into the bin.
I remember my first moment of creative despair: It was in fourth grade, primary school. My art teacher had just introduced us to figure drawing, and taught us simple concepts on how to draw the (rough) proportions of a human body. I remember sitting there, unable to translate the concept she gave us onto the paper. My first attempt, which would also be my last, looked horrendously disproportioned. I had always been a proud creative student, crafting and doodling all day. So when my drawing didn't live up to the expectation I had for it, I felt very sad and angry. The teacher encouraged me to try again, but I didn't want to. Drawing had always been this mysterious talent for me, either you were good at it or you were not, and I decided here and then, that I was, in fact, not good at it.
I ended up getting a D for my drawing, and whenever the topic of drawing came up in art class, I felt a weird mixture of sadness and shame. As I witnessed other students grow into the most talented artists, my feelings of sadness and, to be honest, a good bit of jealousy, only increased. Why couldn't I possess this mysterious talent for art? I found other outlets of creativity, I poured my all into music and journaling, and a great deal of my self expression was found in fashion and make up. Still, the longing to get all these images out of my head and onto the paper never went away.
Have you ever had a moment like this? Tell me about it!
Fast forward, I am now 20 years old, and have spent a good year on reconnecting with my inner creative child. I decided that it is now time to tackle my wish to learn how to draw. Today, I want to introduce you to a concept that has helped me a great deal. No matter what kind of skill you want to learn, at some point you will experience discouraging thoughts and a slump in motivation. The concept of “the Gap” might help you with that, it certainly helped me!
What is this Gap thing I am talking about? First named by Ira Glass, a producer and podcast host, it refers to the discrepancy between your taste or artistic aspirations and the actual quality of your early creative work. In other words, it is the reason why you think that YOUR ART SUCKS. You've probably spent more time consuming art, than you have spent on cultivating the skills needed to pursue that art form. It only makes sense that your own art can barely measure up to your own concept of what good art is supposed to look like. Of course this concept works for nearly every other skill: If you want to become a content creator, chances are you consume hours of content everyday. So, you know how good content makes you feel, how it's supposed to look like. But let's be real, the first videos you'll make will look nothing like that. If they do, then congrats! No creative Gap for you! But for most of us, seeing this mediocre early work is really disheartening and difficult to accept.
click here to watch a quick film about the gap - don't you want to start filming after this?
How do we beat the Gap? Let's first listen to what Ira Glass has to say:
And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.
Create, create, create. Find joy in the process. Be okay with being bad at something. That doesn't make you any less of an artist. The way you see the world is something that you will always have, no matter your talent for drawing or film or music. I know it's frustrating that you aren't able to translate this view into your medium of choice yet, but please cut yourself some slack. No one has ever been able to hate themselves into a version that they can finally love and accept. And let's look at it that way: The journey of learning a new skill can be really rewarding and will teach you a great deal about yourself, no matter the outcome.
Every bad project, every rejection and every “flop” is getting you one step closer to your goal. Because the goal is not to be as good as someone else, but to become a little bit more knowledgeable than your old self. Embrace the gap, embrace all your work, the projects that make you feel silly and bad at what you do. Because, if you produce bad art, guess what that means? YOU ARE MAKING ART! And that is incredible!
Happy creating!
yours sincerely,
Arielle V.
Here is my first attempt of figure drawing after that disastrous 4th grade art class moment (please don't look at the hands…)
Oof. STEM girlie here who is in the “toughing it through” stage with her creative endeavors. Oddly enough, this was a lesson I had to learn when I started my degree AND when I got back into writing.
This was a great reminder to focus on your effort in the beginning stages, not so much the final product. Looking forward to reading more from you!
Wow, I needed to hear this, thank you! This is where I'm at in photography.